So the other day I went to Barnes and Noble in Tribeca and was joining a speaker/workshop for the first time. I was really interested in what we were going to learn and had invited my boyfriend to be there too. However for whatever reason my boyfriend instead of being there early to save me a seat in the front got there late due to subway traffic. He was around 20 minutes late. Since I was coming there from work I thought I wasn’t going to be late but as it turned out I actually was early. Anyhow, as I am sitting waiting patiently for it to start, I notice an employee walking around the area going in and out of the work doors and staring at me.
Now, I am a friendly person. If someone smiles at me I usually smile right back. I’m not that shy (I am a trained actress) but I think there comes a “nice” line crossed when someone continues to stare at you.
Being plus sized hasn’t stopped men from oogling over me in the past. I am in no way trying to say that I am a model but I am a person with feelings.
This guy then proceeded to hide behind one of the doors and mouth to me “You are so beautiful”. Now instinctively I of course responded by nodding and looking away. I might have even said “thank you” shyly. But what gave him the right to stare and stalk me like that? Maybe he didn’t realize that he was making me uncomfortable but after a while I was actually hoping that Damon would get there soon so he would leave me alone. Which yes of course he eventually did when he saw Damon sitting next to me.
This guy creeped me out. I felt like I was being watched by some kind of molester.
And thinking back on this whole experience which lasted maybe a half hour, was there something I could or should have done? Should I have told the manager, the speaker, or responded negatively? What if this guy followed me outside and had a knife or something? People are crazy.
Back in 2009, I actually had a stalker. The police were called and the guy was tagged. It was really scary. I don’t mess around with guys like that anymore.
This “men are assholes theme” isn’t new to me. Being in New York I’ve had young boys to really old guys to handsome muscular guys approach me. I’ve always been with someone so they never had a chance but its one thing when they are polite and another to be a manly jerk.
So please guys get over it and treat women with respect and compassion.
And back to my question…. what do you think I should have done? I’d love to know your opinion.